дома » Юмор » ВОЕННЫЙ ЮМОР 26-28

ВОЕННЫЙ ЮМОР 26-28

ВОЕННЫЙ ЮМОР

КНИГА ДЛЯ ЧТЕНИЯ НА АНГЛИЙСКОМ ЯЗЫКЕ

Главная страница FALL OUT FOR LAUGH ВОЕННЫЙ ЮМОР

Рефераты. Редкие книги.

стр. 22-25

ЦЕЛЕБНЫЕ ЧАИ

ЦЕЛЕБНЫЕ ЧАИ

Как приготовить ЦЕЛЕБНЫЙ ЧАЙ

 

NO PROVI S ION

The company commander, who was crazy
about having a company mascot, decided to
make a cock the mascot. The rooster, for same
reason, disliked the top kick. The Captain once
overheard the sergeant saying to the bird:
“Scram, you pest!” and thought: “Oh — oh! I’ll
put an end to that, I’ll make it a lieutenant.”
He put a bar on the cock’s back and warned
the sarge: “Now, don’t forget … it outranks
you!”
The sergeant grumbled: “ I’m still a sergeant
after 16 years … This bird gets a bar in one
day.”
The cock pecked his finger at the moment.
The sarge wished to hit the attacker but
thought better: “Awk! If I hit i t , 21 I’ll get
court-martialled. I can’t even yell at it. That’d
be insubordination. I gotta do something22.”
And he rushed to find the answer in some regs.
When, some time later, the Captain entered
the area he saw the sergeant kneeling before a
fire grilling what looked like a well-plucked
hen.
“Sarge, what have you done?” he shouted,
“What have you done to our new lieutenant?”
The sergeant replied with a great calm:
“ I looked up the regulations, sir. There’s
nothing against broiling an officer there!”

MORE HUMANE

The Pentagon has announced some changes
in the training program of the US infantry
soldiers, while drilling in hand-to-hand combat
with bayonet. Instead of yelling at the top of
their voice “KILL! KILL!” they’ll produce some
inarticulate blood chilling sounds. Pentagon
philosophers explain that it is a concession to
the trend of ‘humanization of the Army’.

WHY NOT?

An American magazine opened a department
under the title ‘WHY NOT?’ inviting its
readers to give their suggestions. Shortly they
received a letter from a GI stationed overseas.
“ I have a good suggestion for your department:
‘Why don’t they send me home’?”

SPIRITUAL PROMOTION

Private Hargrove was on the c a rp e t23 before
the company commander for his disorderly
conduct when drunk.
“Why do you drink so heavily, Hargrove? If
you didn’t drink we could make you Private
First Class or even Corporal!”
“What’s the use, sir,” commented the man,
when I’m drunk I feel like a colonel.”

THE INVISIBLE MAN

Little Lizzie was showing her father her
drawing of a soldier. The father saw only a
bush on her drawing.
“But where is the soldier?” he asked.
“The soldier is in the bush in ambush,”
explained the girl.

STILL GRFATER

A student at a military school was asked at
an exam in military history: “The critics of the
military assert that a standing army is a great
misfortune for the nation. What is a still
greater misfortune?”
“I think it’s a running а г т у Г he replied,

SUPERSONIC

A military traffic regulation man on duty
saw a car driven by an officer at an excess
speed. When he managed to catch up with a
c a r 24 he saw an Air Force officer which
pleaded he hadn’t heard the MP’s whistling.
“No wonder,” remarked the cop, “you air
boys are used to go at supersonic speeds!”

ADVANTAGE

At the Army recruiting center the recruiting
officer ended his lengthy speech on the advantages
of military profession as a promising
career for a young American.
“…And then a professional doesn’t have to
live in permanent fear of a draft at any moment!”

Юмор

СЛОВАРЬ русско-английский

Добавить комментарий

Ваш e-mail не будет опубликован. Обязательные поля помечены *

*
*

Статистика



Яндекс.Метрика