ВОЕННЫЙ ЮМОР
КНИГА ДЛЯ ЧТЕНИЯ НА АНГЛИЙСКОМ ЯЗЫКЕ
Главная страница FALL OUT FOR LAUGH ВОЕННЫЙ ЮМОР
стр. 5-9
ФАБЕРЛИК КАТАЛОГ 02 2017
NEW JOKE
A young American about to be drafted heard
that old joke: A prospective draftee was
examined by the eye doctor at the draft board.
The doctor pointed at the table and asked:
“What letter is this?”
The prospective draftee didn’t understand.
“Where is that letter?”
“In this line.”
“What line?”
“Here on the table.”
“What table?”
And he was pronounced unfit for service T, to
his great joy.
The young American decided to pull that
very joke 2 on his doctor at the draft board.
So when his eyesight was examined and the
doctor asked: “Now show me this letter on the
table,” he asked, in mocked su rp r i s e 3: “What
table? There isn’t any table!”
“Right you’re!” commented the doctor. “You
see quite well that there isn’t any table. Fit for
service!”
HIS ONE AND ONLY POSSESSION
Moving along a dimly lighted street, a man
was suddenly approached by a stranger who
had slipped from the shadows nearby.
“Please, sir,” asked the stranger in a hoarse
voice, “would you be so kind as to help a poor
unfortunate fellow who is a brave vet, hungry
and out of work? All I have from the past
glory is this gun.»
SURPRISING CHANGES
The company cook was musing, in great
perplexion.
“Those soldiers have very s trange ways in
eating. Monday they liked beans; Tuesday they
liked beans; Wednesday they liked beans; now,
all of a sudden, on Thursday, they don’t like
beans!”
DIFFERENT LUCK.
Two soldiers met in the street one day and
one of the chaps had a row of medals across
his chest.
The other one remarked, “Where did you get
all of those?”
“Gunnery.”
“The hell you say. I had it three years ago
but I never got decorated” .
POWDER
A war vet was bragging about his war
exploits.
“I still smell of powder!” he exclaimed.
“Yes, but it’s talcum powder,” commented
one of the listeners.
Another wit remarked: “He is sure well familiar
with powder. He must have taken it so
many times.”
BEHAVIOR REPORT
A soldier was writing a letter home. He was
in the midst composing it when another soldier
came up to him and peered over his shoulder.
“Writing a behavior report? Mind making a
carbon copy?”
BETTER WAY
After his first days in an Army training
camp with marching and rifle drills, obstacle
courses, etc, a rookie asked his sergeant: “ Is it
possible to get military training by correspondence?
4”
AT LAST
A soldier (and long-suffered husband) found
himself on a deserted island after the shipwreck
of his troop transport. He climbed ashore,
looked around, saw that there wasn’t anybody
nearby and exclaimed in jubilation: “At last
my own chief!5”
REALLY COOL
The unit on defense had to withstand a heavy
attack by a superior enemy force. The commander
was delivering a pep address to his tired
and dispirited troops: “Now, lads, you’ve got
to keep cool. Cold blood is the main thing for
a soldier in battle!”
One GI moaned: “Si;?, I’m so cool now that
my teeth are ch a tte r in g 6 without pause!”
COMPULSION ALWAYS
A lady saw a group of soldiers about to make
a dash 7 down a track on a stadium where they
were having their light athletics exercises.
“Look at those poor soldiers,” she said to
her friend, “they are forced to do everything
only with a pistol by their commander!”
HIS MEASURE
A bed pan jockey in an Army hospital was
told by the doctor to measure the liquid input of some patients in c.c. His reports accounted
for only 2 or 4 c.c. a day. The inquiry revealed
that he thought c.c. stood for ‘cup of coffee’.
